Blueb Lemonade

Long Winded Instructions

Have you always wanted to have some delicious lemonade? Yes, you’ve always wanted that. That's right, I'm answering for you. But, didn’t you also want it to be able to get you drunk? Certainly you did, and still do. And further still, wouldn’t you like to have mint and blueb flavors in there to really make this fantasy drink something special? Yes, again! Since we’re dreaming, why not dream big? It would be so great if such a thing existed. It would be amazing! But... oh well. *defeated sigh*

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Wait! Such a thing does exist!

Surprised? Yes, you were very surprised. I really had you going there. I’m still answering for you because, if I’m being honest, I can’t hear your actual responses (though I do assume you’re answering out loud as you read this). Not only does this hypothetical cocktail exist, but you have the power to make it yourself! What you assumed was impossible only moments ago is within your grasp. What a time to be alive!

To do so, start by pouring some vodka into your shaker. The journey of a thousand sips begins with a single step. Toss in the prescribed number of bluebs and mint, then muddle that blueby mint flavor into your waiting vodka.

Now for the lemonade. You can pour in your favorite lemonade at this point, or you can use the lemon juice and simple syrup as prescribed in the ingredients.

At this point, you should pause and take stock of how far you’ve come. Remember back when you were cruelly tricked into thinking that this drink was just the stuff of legend? Then, once you learned the truth, you balked at the idea that you could create something so incredible. Yet, here you are half way finished. Inspiring!

Onward! Pour your mixture into some ice and shake it, much like you would a snow globe, but the little snow pieces are stuck so you have to shake it harder than you would normally shake a snow globe, but that’s actually a good amount of shaking for a cocktail.

Put fancy ice in your glass. There’s no sense in holding back. Pick the fanciest ice you have. Strain your impossible lemonade into your glass and top with a fine mint leaf garnish.

Congratulations. I’m so very proud of you. You really showed me something today. You stared down the forces of fate itself and, against all odds, made manifest your dream.