Nobody Puts Watermelon In a Corner

Long Winded Instructions

"Wait..." you may be saying to yourself, "isn’t that a reference to...". Oh yes it is! Sorry to cut you off, but it is! This cocktail that you’re about to enjoy celebrates the 1987 film, "Dirty Dancing."

Now, I know that Dirty Dancing themed cocktails are a dime a dozen. There are so many, you’re probably sick of seeing them by now. But yes, we made one too. You can basically consider it a rite of passage for any cocktail blog. But, we think we made a good one, so we hope you’ll give it a try.

You might also be asking yourself what is the connection between Dirty Dancing and watermelon cocktails? Let’s take a journey, shall we?

As you’ll recall in the movie, or refresh your memory here, in one scene Jennifer Grey spots a resort staff member carrying 3 large watermelons. She has been craving that sweet melon all day and jumps at the chance to get her hands on one. She rushes over and deftly negotiates one into her arms under the guise of helping the guy carry it to a party. But, now she has to figure out how to disappear with it without getting noticed. She follows the guy up to a building and right to the doors. Just as she’s about to make a run for it, the guy turns towards her and opens the door with his back. Smooth move. You can see an immediate change in her expression as she takes in the scene. She’s astonished. It’s obvious that she has walked into a room packed with watermelon enthusiasts (read competition). Any one of them could snatch it away from her. She slowly wades into the crowd, clutching the melon as tightly as she can. How’s she going to get out of this one?

The scene cuts forward now. Presumably, she and the staff guy went to the back to prep the melons for the party. She must have snuck a few mouthfuls as they prepped, knowing that she couldn’t steal the whole thing as she had planned. But this fix wouldn’t hold her long. We can be sure that she was scheming a new plan to abscond with one of those rind enveloped treasures to enjoy all by herself. She was sick.

Before long she meets Patrick Swayze. That’s when she utters that iconic, unforgettable line, "I carried a watermelon." She then proceeds to start dancing in a way that is dirty. But, who can blame her? She was all hopped up on watermelon by that point. I’m sure the last time you had some watermelon, you were gyrating this way and that.

The rest, as they say, is history. If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that watermelon plays a pretty big role in the story. In nearly every scene, Baby either just had some watermelon or is on her way to find some. She can’t get enough. And, it’s her main motivation to dance the way that she does.

And that brings us to our cocktail.

You’re going to want to secure your own watermelon, by force if necessary. You can puree that melon, or just use the juices that collect in the bowl when you dice it up. You can imagine that Baby was slurping watermelon juice at every opportunity, but you should save yours for the cocktail.

Combine that sweet melon juice with the vodka, lime juice, and honey in your shaker, much like Baby combined various dirty dance moves into a final performance that she hoped would secure her all the melon she could eat.

Now, stir the mixture up before you add ice. You want to make sure the honey totally dissolves. Otherwise, it will clump up as it gets cold. Now you’re free to add the ice and shake it up, much like Baby shakes it throughout the movie. Each step is one closer to her all-consuming goal.

If you have some Tajin, add it to the rim of your glass. Run a lime wedge around the rim to wet, then dip the rim into the Tajin, much like Patrick Swayze dips Baby at some point (probably).

Now, pour your mixture into the glass... like Baby somehow.

If you want go all out, there is an optional addition which is quite good. Add a few drops of salt and smoke flavored bitters. The ones we tried were sent to us by our friend, Cate. Hi Cate! They are made by Crude in North Carolina. This one is called "Pooter". The name, "Pooter", coincidentally fits our theme here quite well. In a deleted scene, Patrick Swayze gives Baby the nickname "Pooter" after an unfortunate rehearsal. She had had a particularly large plate of watermelon right beforehand (and watermelon is a diarrhetic if you weren’t already aware).

But I digress. Add a few drops of those or similar bitters, if you like, and stir.

Now for the garnish, which parallels the climactic performance at the end of the film. Sprinkle some Tajin on a couple small cubes of watermelon and lift them onto the glass with a fancy toothpick, much like Patrick Swayze lifts Baby into the air.

You’re done! Now you can kick back and enjoy a cocktail that may have been served at that fateful staff party. After all, what else would they have done with those watermelons?