Mint Condition Bluebs

Long Winded Instructions

What can I say about the minty, blueby, sweet cocktail that you are about to make and enjoy? I could say a lot. In fact, I could say several paragraphs worth. And so, I shall. Right here and now.

First of all, it’s minty. That’s obviously already great. Mint can brighten up any cocktail. It adds a certain level of class and sophistication. It’s also very easy to grow. One could say it’s pretty aggressive like a crazy weed that takes over your yard. Someone else might say that it’s a terrible scourge on their herb garden and they can hardly control the explosive growth. They might say that they struggle to find ways to use all that mint and that they constantly try to foist it upon friends and neighbors who, frankly, have herb problems of their own. They go on to say that they’ve now had to cede control of most of their property to the mint, and they grab you by the shoulders and desperately demand of you, “when will this nightmare end?!” Of course I wouldn’t say that. I would say it’s a great addition to your cocktail.

Second of all, it’s blueby. Now maybe you haven’t heard this term before. It’s a new, ultramodern cocktail term. Generally, it means that the cocktail has a blueb flavor to it. A blueb, if you weren’t already aware, is a type of berry that is blue. It’s sweet, delicious, and also has certain health benefits. Although, I should mention for full disclosure that those health benefits are probably counter-acted by the large amount of sugar and booze that also go into this drink. But I digress.

Now it would be great enough to have a drink that is minty and blueby, but let’s not forget about the third adjective that started us down this journey just moments ago. This drink is sweet. Yes, I said it. As sweet as pie. Particularly if it’s a blueb pie. But, more like if that pie didn’t have the crust and also had some mint in it. Does that help?

I would also call this crisp. But, I really should have included that in the intro paragraph. Well… it’s too late now.

Now that you know what to expect from this drink, I imagine you’d like to make one. Perhaps you’re anxious to do so and you’re starting to get upset that I haven’t started into the instructions yet. Every sentence that you read now that doesn’t start to describe how to make it might be infuriating at this point. Some of you might feel that every new sentence is an affront to blogs and cocktails. Every word now a grating, horrible insult! Terrible writing!

The best place to start making this drink is at the stove. Surprised? Does this seem like another tangent meant to stall you? Well, this happens to be the very foundation of the drink. So, it’s super important. Now, asking you if you were surprised was certainly a tangent though. That took us right off track.

Put equal parts sugar and water into a nice little sauce pan or pot. Bring that to a boil and throw in a goodly amount of mint. A handful should do it. The mint is going to shrivel up pretty quickly, but don’t fret! Be assured that the excellent mint flavor is getting captured. Throw in a little more if you like. Then, let it cool. You’ll likely have more than you need, so you might want to store the rest in a container. A good option might be some kind of glass jar with a metal lid that will properly seal. Now you have, what we in the business like to call, a mint simple syrup!

Add the bluebs and fresh mint to your mixing glass and muddle ‘em up real good. Add the vodka and the mint simple syrup. This thing is really getting going now! Shake this mixture with ice. This cools it quite a lot and thoroughly mixes it as well. That’s two things accomplished by this one act, so you can feel good about the efficiency of your work.

You’re nearly done. This is a good time to prepare, what we in the business like to call, the presentation glass. If you have an unusually large ice cube or ball, throw that in there. Otherwise, any kind of ice will do. Now strain the drink into your glass. If little bits of mint or blueb get in there, don’t worry. They will continue to be delicious in this form.

The final act of this creation is the addition of the garnish. Find a couple of the most appealing mint leaves you have. How attractive do these leaves need to be? I’ll leaf that up to you. If you’re growing mint in your yard, you could spend the better part of the day searching for the right ones. However, your drink will be warm and diluted by that time. So, you may just want to grab the first ones that look nice. Now, lay those over the side of your glass.

That’s it! You’ve done it! You can now sip, spin, and enjoy. Once you do, I hope you’ll agree that this drink is minty, blueby, sweet, and also crisp. Although the “crisp” part will have to remain just between us since I screwed up the intro paragraph.